I can't believe I ate the whole thing

mrterwillijer @ 2005-10-24T10:57:00

2005-10-24T15:00:13Z

I'm back, just like a zombie. And I'm back from hell, just like a zombie would be too. Weird and ironic and stuff, huh? I'm trying to get my business up and running and start working steadily as a substitute teacher. Any questions?

mrterwillijer @ 2004-08-17T14:22:00

2004-08-17T18:28:02Z

I think I know what I want to do now with the training I'll recive up here. I think I want to sculpt prosthetics for medical use such as hands, arms, feet, etc. whatever they would need. It's weird because I would useful to society and Imnot used to that. Plus i'll probably be back in town the weekend of September 18. Well, I'll talk to you all later.

mrterwillijer @ 2004-07-17T22:49:00

2004-07-18T03:00:48Z

Things are going pretty well up here. I think I'm in the top five of the 20 students in our group which is pretty good but I really want at least top three. there is this girl Beth who is a total bitch to me and I've done nothing to her. My goal is simply to be much better than her. Oh well. I've got a few good friends up here. Travis and his wife Melissa are really cool, and I hang out with a girl from my class Kelsea every single day which is great. Also, Andrea has been calling me which is great because I want to stay friendly and keep up with her, because I still care for her.
I think so far I like sculpting the best. For my movie monster I'm going to sculpt Stitch from Lilo & Stitch. Well, anyone can ask me anything and tell me what they've been up to. I can't wait to hear from you all.

mrterwillijer @ 2004-06-21T14:46:00

2004-06-21T18:51:10Z

Hey everybody, how's it going? I'm getting settled in at school now and everything's going pretty okay. My sculpting teacher has worked on X-Files, Buffy, and a bunch more so that's neat, and Dick Smith, the preverbial god of cinema makeup has signed on to this school and will sign off on the best portfolios along with Tom Savini. For those of you who don't know, Dick Smith did the makeup for The Godfather, Taxi Driver, Amadeus, and tons of others. Everybody is really cool up here, and I'm the biggest freak being that I don't have dyed hair, tatoos, peircings, and wear black and or horror movie shirts. My classes are fun and the teachers are nice so I'm happy. Plus there is an Applebee's, a Best Buy, and a big mall twenty minutes away. Sweeeeet!!!!

mrterwillijer @ 2004-05-18T23:55:00

2004-05-19T03:57:52Z

This is Bryce, updating for Travis. Travis had a fairly minor stroke the other day, and he's in the hospital right now. He may be getting out tomorrow afternoon, but it also may be a little bit longer. He wanted me to let everyone know that he'd like to hear from you. He's pretty much just incredibly bored right now. You can reach him at 513-636-1669. Other than his boredom, he's ok. He said to call him if you want to know what a stroke feels like.

mrterwillijer @ 2004-04-07T20:52:00

2004-04-08T00:57:57Z

I've been wanting to do a top ten films list on here for awhile, so I think now is the time. This was really hard.

10. Pumping Iron
9. The Terminator
8. Blade II
7. Punch Drunk Love
6. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
5. Freddy vs. Jason
4. Solaris
3. The Deer Hunter
2. Goodfella's
1. Memento

Everybody is more than welcome to throw in their own two cents and tell me how much my taste rules, or completely and absolutely sucks!

mrterwillijer @ 2004-04-03T07:55:00

2004-04-03T13:05:20Z

I don't know what it was but last night before I worked out, I listened to All Within My Hands and St. Anger and got super pumped up and super pissed off. I wanted to punch everything in the house. I think the working out thing is going great, because not only do I look better (and thinner) but more importantly I feel MUCH better about myself. I actually feel as if I'm an attractive person now. It's really weird and I'm not used to it at all. I've joked about being hot but deep down never really felt it, but now I feel attractive. It's awesome having true confidence in myself.
Marty and Colby, I know that you two listen to most of the same music I do so I think you'd both like the new Hoobastank and Puddle of Mudd if you haven't already gotten them. They both sufficiently rock. Hell Bryce, even you'd probably like the new Hoobastank. Anyway, I feel great and can't wait until the day I can actually feel my stomach muscles without first feeling a thick layer of fat. ROCK!!

mrterwillijer @ 2004-03-28T16:46:00

2004-03-28T21:52:09Z

I'm afraid I'll never be able to get thin. Everywhere I look there is delicious food that is awful for me. I'm running and trying to eat better. All I want is to go off to school and be hot. This will be a new start for me and I want to become a better person than I am now. Everyone I already know knows what a goof I am.

Last night I got so freakin' drunk. It sucked. I had a great time until then though, so that was cool. Next time I go to a party I won't drink that much. Oh well, live and learn. Thank you's go to Bryce and Colby for helping me when I was drunk, and I apologize to everyone in Lexington (except Jason, because he liked it) for getting naked. Maybe when I get a nice body I'll do it again to make up for it. Hopefully, I'll se you guys again soon.

The Oscars!

2004-01-26T16:12:33Z

I'm pretty sure that the Oscar nominations are tomorrow morning so I'll throw in my two cents as to what I think some of them will be.

Best Picture:
Cold Mountain
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
Lost in Translation
Mystic River
Seabiscuit

The Last Samurai and In America are dark horses in this category and could possibly break through, pushing out Seabisuit and or Cold Mountain, but I don't think this will happen. The other three, King, Lost, and Mystic, are all locks and it would be nearly impossible for any of the three to not be nominated. In any other year Finding Nemo would be nominated, but with the Best Animated Picture category, it will have to settle for winning that one.

Best Director will appear the same as Best Picture with the exception of Gary Ross for Seabiscuit who will not be nominated and will be replaced with the director of The Last Samurai. (His name has slipped my memory). He won Best Director from the National Board of Review, and he is pretty much guarenteed a spot on the list.

All in all, The Lord of the Rings will garneer the most noms with about 13 including Picture, Director, Costumes, Cinematography, Editing, Visual Effects, Sound, Sound Editing, Adapted Screenplay and so on. A big surprise for this film could be a Best Supporting Actor nomination for Sean Astin as Sam or Andy Serkis for Gollum. Neither of these would surprise me. Also a Best Actor Nomination for Viggo Mortensen may be in the cards but I doubt it. That category will be filled with big names like Russel Crowe for Master and Commander, Sean Penn for Mystic River, and Tom Cruise for The Last Samurai.

The acting this year really doesn't matter being that Sean Penn will win Best Actor and Charlize Theron is a lock as Best Actress for Monster.

Overall, The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King will win everything it can. It'll nearly sweepthe show and should win somewhere around nine in all. Joe, if you have read any of this and made it this far, pretend I'm your bookie, because you can probably go ahead and bet on these. Actually I'll even go ahead and lay down thee odds to win in the Best Picture category.

Seabiscuit - 17 - 1
Cold Mountain - 12 - 1
Mystic River - 5 - 1
Lost in Translation - 3 - 1
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King - 1 - 1

Happy betting to all!

mrterwillijer @ 2004-01-22T20:10:00

2004-01-23T01:22:48Z

I'm watching Solaris and it's movies like this that remind me of the art of words that I am pursuing. I know that a lot of people HATED this movie, but I love it. It has a quiet darkness to it. Another movie that has this is Unbreakable. There are quiet moments taht I love. It's in my writing that I try to capture these and moments of despair and subtle joy that we as human beings experience. I look at the television and my room and my life and I feel a hopelessness that is suffocating and lonely. This is what I want to capture. I don't know if this makes any sense, but I don't care. It feels good to write this stuff.

mrterwillijer @ 2004-01-20T20:16:00

2004-01-21T01:20:43Z

PLATTER'S GAY! PLATTER'S GAY! PLATTER'S GAY! Oh my God, he popped out of the closet like a fucking Toaster Strudel, only he's way fruitier. I was right I was right I was right. For one of the first times ever I'm right! Yesssssssssssssss!, as Joe would say. How classic is it to come out of the closet by asking a fellow "gay" to buy you some fucking gay porn. BRILLIANT!!!! Go Platter! Go Panthers! Wow, American Idol is hilarious!

The cuts are getting deeper, less painful

2004-01-06T03:11:10Z

It's weird going to the doctor again and being sick with something that's not life-threatening. I actually asked the doctor about ADD and depression, so that's at least a step. The big problem with my depression now is that I've been talking to a lot of people about their beliefs on the after-life and I've concluded that there is nothing to fear in death. That's a problem. Now, when I think of killing myself it doesn't seem like a bad idea. I know to everyone else that it is, but I'm not as sure anymore. A calm comes over me and I think of not being trapped in this life that I feel I have no control over and that I'm miserable in. Also, I need to curb my spending if I ever hope to go away to school, but I know that I can do it. Day one of not buying anything is over and done with. One down, no telling how many more to go. Writing serious stuff is weird.
And to Matt on the difference between forgetting someone and moving on, forgetting is the inability to remember the memories of us together good or bad, while moving on is the ability to forget the pain and heartache of being away from that person or getting past the pain they caused you or vice versa. The same way I can't remember the winner of SuperBowl VI, I can't remember what Anne looked like when she would smile at me as she came towards me in the Mall after work, and that's severly depressing.

mrterwillijer @ 2004-01-04T21:49:00

2004-01-05T02:56:12Z

I usually don't fill this thing up with serious thoughts, but I've been kind of sad about something. I remember my first real girlfriend Anne, but the memories are becoming hazy. I'm starting to completely forget her and it's sad. It's not as if I still love her, but my heart will always have a place for her. She's become a complete stranger to me, as if we never were together. Andrea is going the same way too. I try to keep in touch with her, but if I can even get a reply from an email I send her it's miracle. I've forgotten to miss them and moved on, but I'm forgetting them all together and that's even worse. I'd rather live with some of the pain then forget them completely. I'm sad :( It feels pretty good to write this actually. Whodathunkit.

mrterwillijer @ 2004-01-03T23:20:00

2004-01-04T04:21:45Z

The Titans and the Panthers won today, so thus far my prediction for the Super Bowl matchup is correct and I rule! My God, I rule! For all of you betting types, it will be the Panther and the Titans in the Big Bowl wiht the Titans emerging victorious. Peace out to all my peeps.

Love,

Happy Juggs

mrterwillijer @ 2003-12-27T15:03:00

2003-12-27T20:12:19Z

I can't believe that I actually did it, but I got my lebree pierced twice. I think it looks great but that's not the genberal concensus which has ranged from retarded to creepy. I'm very happy with it (them), and that's all tht matters. It's just weird that I talke dsomething up and actaully did it. I think it makes me look pretty good, but it looks like I'm the only one. Oh well.

mrterwillijer @ 2003-12-22T19:59:00

2003-12-23T01:08:49Z

I'm so excited and so very very nervous. I've decided, despite the rolling eyes of my heart doctor and the groaning of my finances, to get the tattoo and my double lebree peircing. Huzzah!! (That one's for Matt "I believe I can Fly!" Kelley) I've also decided what to get for my tattoo. It's a picture of St. Michael the Archangel with sword in hand and wings spread. It looks so awesome. I'm pretty sure that I'm going to go to Designs by Dana near Clifton. My only problem is that I don't have anyone to go with me and I'm nervous, and I kind of want it to be one of my girl "friends" so I can hold their hand, because it helps calm me down when I'm nervous or scared. Anyway, I'm going to go work out, which I can't believe is actually working. Everyone have a great holiday, and Bryce, if you read this, I may look a little different when you get back from Colorado. Tell your Sister I said hi (Uber! Uber!) That one is for Joe "The Last Joe Bird" Myers. Everybody have a great Holiday!

GO SEE LORD OF THE RINGS!!!

2003-12-18T20:10:49Z

EVERYBODY GO SEE LORD OF THE RINGS!!! It was absolutely amazing and completey in every way a movie can be. I loved it and have never cried so much at a movie, or I guess I should say that I've never cried so many times at a movie. It was like there was a reason for tears to be shed around every corner. I cried like a little French Girl! Also, I've been meanign to speak out in defense of the new mobile gaming machine the N-Gage. It is completely awesome and a great deal at $199 with three games of your choice. Fuck all the critics that said it was the worst thing ever. I love it! One final note, Roger Ebert has finally conceded and given LOTR: ROTK 3 and half stars after giving the first two only 3. I still feel that he is insane and that each film easily deserved 4 stars, but these 3 star reviews come form the man who gave Triple X 3 and a half stars! What a dope. GO SEE LORD OF THE RINGS!!!!!

Get naked or shut up!

2003-12-14T15:32:04Z

I'm thinking of getting a tattoo on my upper right arm. I'm not quite sure what to get though. That's the biggest thing, is what can I get that won't make me feel stupid a little while later? I think a violent sorrowful music-related symbol for my life would do, but I'm not sure. Any suggestions? That can be anything too, from where to go, what NOT to get, or maybe what TO get.

mrterwillijer @ 2003-12-08T22:55:00

2003-12-09T04:00:03Z

Does anyone else think that it is complete bullshit that the Average Joe show ends eith her picking the great looking spoiler guy? the only reason I say that is because what the hell is the point of the show if they're going to give the damn great looking guys too? They're going to win everytime and just further prove that great looking guys will beat out normal looking guys like me everytime. TV makes me so mad.

mrterwillijer @ 2003-12-03T21:22:00

2003-12-04T02:27:07Z

I just told my ex-fiance that I can't talk to her anymore because it hurts too much. Sometimes, (well, alot of the times, actually) I just wish I were fucking dead. But if I killed myself I'd miss all the pain and distress of this life and where's the fun in that? I just don't have the energy to load the gun, put it in my mouth, and pull the trigger. That's how much things suck in my head right now. I'm excited about the party on Saturday though. Maybe if I drink myself into oblivion, I'll never have to come back to the mundane daily failure I call my life.

mrterwillijer @ 2003-11-22T09:14:00

2003-11-22T14:16:44Z

I don't know what's going on, but over the past two days I've never had so many people tell me how annoying I am and how I talk too much and need to shut up. It's really weird, but at least it's hurtful. Oh, well. I try to "behave," but I just can't seem to. Or at least I can't behave enough to make people happy. Man, I can't wait to go to make-up school. This next six months is probably going to suck.

My life is a lie

2003-11-09T16:39:21Z

I just realized that I don't even have a girlfriend, so the last thing I said in my post aside from killing myself was a peyote induced hallucination I had while watching Thirty-Something on Laser Disc at my disgruntled half-uncles house. By the way, I want to kill myself.

Help me please

2003-11-09T16:36:38Z

I found a peanut in my can of fancy cashews. I want to kill myself. I recorded 24 on tuesday and when i went to watch it, i had to fast-forward through the commercials. I want to kill myself. I went to see Bruce Almighty with Joe last night and they actually made me PAY the 2.50 to get in. I want to kill myself. I wanted my "girlfriend" to "suck" my "dick", but she said she too "tired" from "working" all day. I want to kill myself.

mrterwillijer @ 2003-11-06T21:41:00

2003-11-07T02:50:01Z

I think I'm going to go for it and go to film school to get my masters. I watched The Matrix Revolutions and Alien, and while I was watching the latter, I thought that this is what I was put on this Earth to do. I am supposed to make film, and entertain people. It's a better alternative than living in a rut until I eventually blow my head off due to untreated chronic depression that engulfs my life like a cold, wet, black blanket. Oh, well.

Mission: Impossible

2003-10-20T00:02:18Z

If your car breaks down over and over, you buy a new one. If a neighborhood goes to hell, you move to a different one. If your significant other beats you, you leave them. What the fuck do you do when you find out you're not that good of a person? I have no idea what I'm going to do. I put down my friends down and treat people like crap. I don't mean to, and when I do I'm joking, but if you shoot someone as a joke they don't hurt any less. I've been told to see a shrink, but I'm not sure if that'll help and I don't even have a clue as to where to look for one. I don't have any insurance to help pay for it.

I don't know whether to stay away from my friends so as not to hurt anyone, or see a shrink, or just try my damndest to keep my mouth shut. I feel fucked either way I go, cause this is just who I am. What if I change dramatically? Will people still like me or think I'm funny? I have no idea. :(